Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Remember Love Remember

Posted by Miss Rhei at 8:53 PM 0 comments

No rain, thank God. The sun’s not so bright and there’s some butterflies beyond. Beautiful day.

I’m sitting in our study and I can’t have the peace I want. There were children by the sea. They’re laughing, screaming even. They were guests of a neighbor from Manila and the sight of the sea delighted them. So much for silence.

Then I remember when I too was a child. I’ve got a cousin from Manila that I had to entertain. Brought her to the seaside, introduced her to friends and classmates and so on... I remember her.

“I don’t have any problems with my husband, I’m so lucky to have him” were the words I remember from the last time my cousin and I talk. She’s happy with her family, her life. Indeed, no sarcasm here.

I wonder sometimes, is it really necessary to marry someone to have a happy life? I am a single mother and though marrying crossed my mind, I really never go for it. I am happy, we are happy and I must admit we get lonely sometimes. But doesn’t married people get lonely too?

There are people I know who marry again after spouse’s death. Seems like they can’t live without a man or a woman. Maybe it’s love.

I call it dependency. Marrying is being committed to help, guide and be a shoulder to another person. One needs that because life may play a really bad joke on us and we may not be able to bear it alone, thus a husband / wife. Love’s not really a factor. Or maybe. But trust that when love alone is the basis of marriage, the joke will be on you.

Just a witness, haven’t experienced myself.

I choose to be a single mom and I have seen a lot of failed marriages. I know how to count and the percentage aint’ good.

Love is not something I abhor. I know I am capable of loving someone, other than my child. I remember being happy, delighted, excited one time and another.

There were times when I was so foolish, selfish and irritable because of love. I remember. Just that I don’t know the feelings anymore. Well thanks to romance pocketbooks and movies, I cry and laugh at times. I remember the love, the momentary joy, the mixed emotions. It was a happy feeling, and sad too.

I do believe in love, I just don’t think it should be the sole requisite to marriage... not my final word, the wind may blow to change the tide and shift my stand. :)

photosource: HD Wall Paper

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Book Review: Family Album By Danielle Steel

Posted by Miss Rhei at 12:36 AM 0 comments

Finished Danielle Steel's Family Album in two days. Again. I've read the book about seven (7) years ago, perhaps even before that. The thing is, the novel seemed a new read to me.

Family Album is so beautiful it feels so real, yet not. I did not resonate to anyone in the family though I sometime think Ward Thayer's attitude about life was mine too. However, deep within me I know I have Faye's strength. Then there are the children, whose parts of life I share.

Good books usually make me part of the whole story. For every misfortune, accidents and misunderstanding... I feel with them. Ms. Steele creatively weaved each character to be with flaws but just perfect for each situation one each facing.

Fascinated by the story, I sometimes feel that situations nor characters and even the whole of it can't be real. But each sentence delivered, feelings expressed and emotions unleashed makes it all seem real. So lifelike that I breath it, want to live it.

photosource: Danielle Steel

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Screaming Whispers: Just Notes

Posted by Miss Rhei at 8:53 PM 0 comments

I haven't had enough post lately (and again).  Life's kinda overwhelming am not sure how others managed theirs.  But then, we all had our share of the 24hours and I guess I'm not managing mine well.  I honestly don't know how.

Amidst everything, I was able to jot down some thoughts though, last month.

Although at some point, I've had my downs today... it was generally a good day.  Finished 80% of the task assigned to me today, the kids were in their best behavior and we had good enough sales at Store.

But I admit that I reacted not pretty well to some factors around me, mostly at work.  I was kinda upset at some remarks made but I kept thinking about it and tried to find some excuse for the reason it was said.  I found none - except for ego, pride and the need to uplift oneself.

Oh well, each to his own.

There is this question that nags me though - Must I do work brought from the office at home to avoid the risk of not beating the deadline?

I dreamt of him.  That he's finally opening up to my advances (lol).  It made my heart glad and even if it was just a dream, my hope skyrocketed once more.  Silently, I had been waiting for the day when he'll glance my way and see me, not as a childhood friend nor someone who has a huge crush on him, but someone he could love and could love him back in return.

Then I realize I only have 6 months to trim down for the alumni.

Saw his FB posts though and it seemed that he's always in the dark.  Remembered I am too.  Then may be we both are.

Are we now compatible?  Will he see this as that?

Crossing my fingers.

It is raining.  It is a Saturday.  It would be nice to sleep in.  Till noon.  Or till after noon.

I thought that may be, in another time, I could have done what I've always wanted.  Sleep in till I want to.  Eat when I want to.  Work when I want to.  Interact when I feel like.

But there are words such as If, Should, or Guilt.. there are Responsibilities.

That I must wake up at 5am to help man the store, that even on a Saturday I'll have to go to work for an overtime.  People to smile to, talk to and be nice to even when you feel cramped up inside.

But we have to.

Just be Grateful.

photosource: The Crafty Crow

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Grateful My Heart Is

Posted by Miss Rhei at 3:08 AM 0 comments

Tonight, the moonlight traced o'er the sea from which dancing crystals were born. Countless stars scattered up in the sky. It was a night to behold, to be grateful.

Post-valentines day, my sister and her friends are at the lawn having a far-from-boyfriends party. Chitchats over a bottle of brandy and barbeque bought from one of the street vendors. Never mind what's on the table, they had fun is what's important.

I miss Lee Min Ho. He's that Korean guy who graced many television sets and make the hearts of so many girls flutter. I'm one of them. Hahaha. It was unexpected actually as I'm not a fan of Koreanovelas. So happen that a friend saved a copy of The Heir - one of Lee Min Ho's TV series in my laptop and with nothing to do and out of curiosity, I watched. Then I'm hook!

How could someone so beautiful, sweet and loving be not my Valentine date?

Back to earth.

So sweet was my little angel when he bought us flowers, me and his grandma and titas. It was kinda out of the blue as Valentine's Day is not that celebrated here. Most were just for fun and greetings could only extend to red shirts and kid's valentine cards. But flowers... they made my heart flutter (nice going) and happy, and grateful for a son so thoughtful.

Tonight is a good night... and I am grateful.

Photosource: Valentine Crafts

Monday, October 28, 2013

Screaming Whispers: Passion And WhatNot

Posted by Miss Rhei at 2:57 PM 0 comments

I'm up at 4am. No, this is not because I resolved to be up so early. I tried a hundred times but this one's not the case. I had troubles with my stomach I can't sleep. Anyhow, I think it is a good thing.

For one, I can help my mother man our store while she does about her thing inside the house.

Then and most importantly, creative juices are overflowing. (Honestly, I'm not sure about the grammar. I just like the sound of it. When I was in the city, I feel most energized and creative from about 10pm to 1am. Not a good time to be up and be active. Then here, for 3 months now I had been trying to find out what time is my 'up' time to no avail. Until I woke up very early today. :)

Sometime lately, I tried to make an schedule for myself and the earliest I've written down there is 430am that said coffee / calendar / to do list. So I decided to sit down infront of the laptop, with coffee beside me to check whatever. My calendar doesn't show anything except 'Xzel's Story Telling Competition in English' then 'moved' underneath it. My to do list all shows something that are not urgent. So...

So much has changed since I've lived in the country. Yes, I still have dreams, only a different kind of dream. Here, I pursue my dreams silently, contentedly. Here gives me peace, a sort of calm.

Then I'm bored. But not bored the bad bored.

It's just that one day, I wake up feeling like the blood in my vein are freezing. My weight keeps leaning on the heavy side. My demeanor changed. I easily let go of things, not care anymore. It's like contentment and peace let my passion sleep and I really feel that it is not good.

Yes, I love the life I have here in the country. A little business on the side (which I hope turned out to become my dream business: yah know - the tea, coffee, pastries and books plus good chitchats) and my family especially my son, Xzel here with me. But I also have this need to become passionate, to lead, to accomplish something where most people try their best on, business/work/profession. I'm an Aries and we are born fiery, a leader. I can not sit back and stitch away afternoons, well at least not everyday.

While writing this, a thought came across my mind. I think I can do what my heart desires and be what I suppose I should be at work. An idea, a good idea. I need to make a plan. :)

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Just Sayin' Something About The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

Posted by Miss Rhei at 3:44 AM 0 comments

Title: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (2011)
Stars: Daniel Craig, Rooney Mara, Christopher Plummer, Stellan Skarsgard
Director: Davin Fincher
Genre: Crime, Drama, Mystery

Just Sayin'

Here is a film adaptation that I haven't read but watched. A Swedish novel written by Stieg Larsson. Defied my personal motto of reading the book first before watching the movie. This is so because I believe books are better, gives you the chance to imagine and be a part of the story. But well, I don't have the book in my hand, instead, a DVD.

Honestly, I can't get over yet with the movie. The title 'The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo' for me connotes something majestic, if not magical. Or maybe a Chinese themed movie. But I'm quite mistaken. I could say I'm disappointed but I was not. It's just that it wasn't what I expected at first.

Talk about surprises, odd surprises.

I'd go with the ending first. Okay, I never really thought that Mikael Blomkvist (Daniel Craig) and Lizbeth Salander (Rooney Mara) will end up together - no. That's quite out of hand and Lizbeth's way too young. They both have different personalities and they both live in two different worlds. Here goes love is not enough, at least in my opinion. What I didn't like was the girl with the dragon tattoo had a not so good life, had a taste of happiness when she and Mikael worked together but it had to be just that... Why didn't the movie had a 'happy ever after'? I felt so sad I resolved to read the book so I can fully understand why it had to be.

As a whole, it was a very good crime/detective type plot. Mikael presenting himself an autobiographer investigates the case of a missing lady for forty years. He gets to interview members of the Vanger family and later found out the real story of the situation. Martin being the killer of all the missing women and the cause of Harriet's disappearance. The good news here is that Harriet is still alive. She was one smart young woman to have thought of getting away from everything when she had the chance. All these Mikael did with the help of the girl with the dragon tattoo, Lisbeth.

Well, I'd have to say that the only thing taboo for me was Martin Vanger - Does he really have a motive for all the things he's done or he's just a lunatic with grave psychological issues that he releases by raping women and killing them?

I'm giving it 8 out of 10, with 10 being the highest.

Friday, October 11, 2013

October-Full Month And Its Okay

Posted by Miss Rhei at 10:46 PM 0 comments

Back in Manila, I'd be overwhelmed by gigs and parties at various watering holes. October Fest it is.

But I am in our little town. The sky's sporting gloomy and dark clouds. It may rain, hopefully later. The sea's raging too. Pray that our fishermen be safe.

I noticed recently that the night envelope us earlier than it used to be. I sometimes wonder if our clock is faulty. Why, I always thought that it's already late then one look at the time and I'd see 5PM. It's quite fine however there are so many things to do and if this goes on, I'd be left with so much. Thing I can not afford. Single mom means double work.

Being here in the province doesn't really mean sleeping away afternoons, stitching idly to pass time or singing to the flowers in the garden. Well, these are part of country living but right now I am overwhelmed.

I haven't finished that cross stitch. Designs for Christmas items made of buri were always put on hold, and the yuletide season's almost here. House repair, business opportunties, exploring possibilities - still on my to do lists.

Those are just some. As the line goes - we must know our priorities. And nothing beats my son, Xzel.

October is a month full of activities for Xzel.

He had been school representative for District Contests in Science, Filipino and Math. He won Science and Math first place which means he must be ready to compete Division wide (whole province of Sorsogon). He wasn't as lucky in Filipino because they lack preparation, his first time in story telling and he wasn't even trained. 2nd periodical exam is underway and he'll be competing again for District Contest in English, story telling. I hope this time he shows what he's got. Story telling was not my forte but since he get to be chosen twice, he may have the 'it'. :)

Camporal is upcoming next week and he will also join the Little Boy Scouts (Kawan). He's been a member since first grade so stopping now wouldn't make sense besides he's the Prinsipe ng Kawan last year so he must be there. Xzel had hesitations in joining because he's afraid he's gonna be sick after. He had fever for two days after their dance number for Teachers Day last Monday.  But it's final, he'll join and was already told to be ready for the quiz bee.  He was also picked to do with others a fancy drill and dance number.

Our calendar's full but that's okay. Xzel's get to developed his potential and I get to train him and design his props. Son on the limelight, Mommy on the backstage...

This is lengthy I guess but all I wanted to say is that I am proud of my little man.

photosource: My Busy Bee Kids

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