Run Free at Rainbow Bridge, Oliver

It's been a week since Oliver, my cat, last ate solid food in the house.  Five days since he went home to rest, drank water - he won't eat the food I served him.  He lost weight in two days, and I can see that he is weak. 

Pero hindi ko siya pinigilan nang umalis siya.

I shouldn't let him out.  I should have taken care of him here instead, I allowed him, even on his weakest, to roam in the wild, to roam in the dark.  Days after, he has not come back, and I realized he won't be.

Sa itsura niya nung umalis siya, I seriously doubt it.

But I still have hope; they say cats have nine lives.  I hope Oliver has not used all of them yet.   I'm imagining he's out there somewhere, sleeping, gaining his strength back until he can come home.  It is wishful thinking, I know, the fact that I know he's not coming back.  

He's one year old as of June 18.  I am sorry he hasn't lived that long, but I hoped he knew he was loved.  He will always be.

I find that it gives me comfort that I somehow know (guessed) what happened to Oliver.  Unlike Kata, my other cat, who just disappeared last April (which I am still hoping is alive and thriving somewhere).

Napapaisip tuloy ako, if mag aalaga ulit ako should I let them roam free or keep them in the house?

My first cat, Dino, is also out there.  But I know he will always come back home.  Most of the time, he's out only at night, and he sleeps at the house by day.  But he's a wild one, unlike Oliver, who is the sweetest.

Run free and happy beyond the rainbow bridge, Oliver.  You can always come back to us; we will be waiting.  The whole gang loves you (Kuya Ken, Andy, Roma, and Dino).

Thanking Today for Small Blessings

Oliver and me

Counting blessings ain't really a bad thing.  It makes us realize that there are a lot of things to be grateful for everyday.  Another way to say it is there were a lot of things that we have been taking for granted before we started taking note of the gifts we receive each day.

For today, I am thankful:

- that the first sound that I heard when I woke up were the birds' singing

- for the cats that woke me up early in the morning, asking for their food

- for the dogs that kept me company all day and all night long

- for the strength and energy to clean the house and keep it clean 

- for the food on the table, and food for the pets no matter how bad our financial situation is

- for the work that don't need me to undergo commuting and preparation stress

- for my son who is getting high grades, having good friends, and enjoying his day

- for my mother who is still strong and going about the garden and taking care of her grandchildren the best she can

There are a lot of things to be grateful for every day, and I am acknowledging it by taking note of it.

How about you, what are you grateful for today?

Drenched Yet Grateful

the yard drenched in rain

The sky's dark and the rain's falling.  It is comforting - imagine me in front of my laptop, listening to the raindrops from the window, with the dogs at my feet and the cat nearby on a couch.  

It seemed peaceful.

But no, I am not.  My mind is swirling, my stress level's up.  It has been like this since I received my salary and made a computation of where the funds will go.  I am totally f*cked up, I don't even have spare to cover our food (me and the dogs, and the cats).

Nakakalungkot that I wanna cry.

But I still am grateful - I have a roof over my head, my son's doing well at school, and I have my pets to comfort me whenever.  I am praying that this situation we are in will be over soon.

P.S. Writing this down eased my mind a bit.

A Poem - "Life"

Found this poem while sorting files on my laptop.  I remember writing this one night in 2006 when I could not sleep after drinking coffee.  Nagtaka pa eh noh?!

Let me know what you think about this poem...

Happy Chinese New Year!!

 

source - canva.com

Happy Chinese New Year everyone!

Things To Do For The New Year

 

source - Good Housekeeping

That's just about right.  I allowed myself a trial.  It's kind of funny and yes, we could use a few. 

Hindi rin naman talaga ito awkward, I mean starting the year in February because this year's Chinese New Year or the Lunar New Year is in February.

Just like most people, I tend to make these goals at the beginning of a certain period.  Beginning of the week, of the month, of the season, of the year.  Ganyan ka din ba?

Here is the list of things I would like to focus on this year.  Read on, you can pick a thing or two from this list.

Things I promised myself to do this new year:

Wake up early

• This says a lot.  Read the profiles of successful persons, observe the lifestyle of the rural peeps and you'll find that this is one thing they have in common.  Waking up ahead of some people has its own benefits, depending on how you would like to put these hours to use.  I wanted these hours put into doing exercises, studying, cleaning the house, and having a slow breakfast.  So far, during the trial month, all I was able to accomplish was having breakfast. 😁

Track Expenses

• This is very important.  Track expenses, monitor cash flow, and add a source of income, or two, or three.  Kahit ilan pa ang kaya mo 😄.  Since last year, I have not been doing well in terms of finances.  Although I can attribute this to the house construction in 2022, and Quel's getting into college last year... I know I am not the only one feeling the hit of the financial crisis.  So yes, I will be doing this, consistently, persistently.  Ikaw din, gawin mo rin... hawak kamay nating abutin ang financial freedom.

Do a Project

• I only feel productive if I have ticked something off my list.  To do this, I am setting up projects to focus on things that I know are important and will lead me to my goals... set a timeline, a list of tasks etcetera.  This helps me be in control of my time, and my direction.  I have projects for my day job, for my hobby, and even for cleaning the house.  It helps me be organized, and productive.   It also gives me a sense of accomplishment which is a very good way to boost confidence.

Breathe Beauty

• Not literally of course, but if you can do that, hey why not?  For me it means, enjoying my food, taking in the smell of the rain, feeling the heat of the sun, listening to the crashing of the waves in the sand.  You are imagining it noh?  Breathing beauty for me means living in the world I dream for myself.  That Spanish house, the red pick up, the fresh produce from my gardens, reading books, watching movies, spending lazy afternoons, having slow breakfast, painting, crafting, sewing...  it is feeling and breathing the moment, the journey.

 

This is about me, yes, that is correct.  (I am saying this while imagining Dr. Brennan in my head saying these words... 😆  Dr. Brennan is the protagonist in the series Bones, and I love the series!  Watch it in Disney+).  Okay back to what I was saying, the above list is for me but I am sharing this list with you because I know you'd pick a thing or two that can also help in making a better version of yourself.

Lezz go get it! 

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

source - canva.com

Welcome to the year 2024!!

Bagong taon na naman, bagong simula, bagong pag-asa. 

It is the time of the year when most of us make our New Year's resolutions and goals.  I do this too and it is a good thing.  Resolutions, especially goals, keep us in the direction of our dreams.  Without these things, our aim will not be spot on.  It will be like swimming in the vast ocean not knowing where to go.

So this year, my life will be centered on this phrase - Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.  I do not have a specific way or singular path to apply this in my life but I am looking forward to integrating these three R's into my day-to-day activities.  I hope my mind and my actions will not veer away from this resolution.

Not only will Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle be practiced in my personal life, but Kenyari will be taking part too!  We won't buy new fabrics until all the fabrics and scraps on hand will be used to craft wonderful creations.  We are very much looking forward to these new pieces.

Abangan!! 😉😉 

A Very Simple Dream

'...walking with Popo at the beach.'

I'm weirded.  Is it even a word?

A friend told me a long time ago that I am making the best of what I have, only, I can do better.  I'd say he could be right, and I can feel it.  My stars are telling me so.  The universe is trying so hard to make me understand.

But what if I'm fine with waking up with the sun and taking a walk, or sleeping in till I'm hungry?  What if I'm okay with the food on my table and a roof over my head?  What if I'm fine with enough to buy groceries and pay my bills?

I dream of a simple life - a house on a farm or a beach, a red pickup, and a hobby/business to save the day.  I wanted my day to look like this:

- wake up in the morning

- drink coffee and jog or walk

- tend the garden

- prepare and have breakfast

- clean the house, do the laundry

- prepare and eat lunch

- have siesta or read a book

- work on my business

- play with the dogs and the kids

- tend the garden again

- prepare and have dinner

- watch dramas or movies

- then sleep

Trips to the market and suppliers, visits to families and friends, tours to beaches and hot spots, etc in between.

Sometimes, I think that the life I want is just an excuse - a reason not to act and pursue what I should have been doing all along. I think I am just letting time pass and that I’ve given up.

Did I really give up on what I should be?

What about the joy I feel when slowly preparing the ingredients and cooking our meal?  What about these feelings of peace and delight when I tend the garden or sew a dress?  What can compare to the happiness I feel when I pet our dogs?  I’d even give up my internet access for a siesta and a good book.

I still believe this is the life I should lead, and I’m still working on it.

I’m just weirded out.  A bit of a nudge earlier in my mind tells me what if I had worked on the other path, the other way, the other measure of success.  Would I be happy?